U-G-L-Y, you ain't need no alibi...

We live in a superficial society. From childhood we're indoctrinated with the idea that beauty equals good and ugly signifies evil. This is especially true for women. Since the evolution of civilization women have been objectified, turned into trophies for successful men. Through the waves of feminism great strides have been made against this mentality, and very few women today would willingly accept this treatment.
However, while eliminating the reason for our obsession with beauty we've maintained the addiction. Look at any women's magazine, even the most feminist, and inevitably you'll find articles on weight loss, personal care products (make-up, skin, hair), and fashion.
Women waste time, money and energy on trying to achieve an elusive standard of beauty. Blubber rolls are strapped down, faces are shellacked with tan-hued spackle, flesh is slashed and rearranged. Yet in spite of every effort, perfection is never attained, in fact it flees further off to the horizon.
Then women, feeling themselves unworthy failures, allow others to treat them badly. Women with low self-esteem become abuse victims, are cheated on, quit on life and never pursue their dreams.
This issue has hardly gone unnoticed, and many well-intentioned individuals have striven to rectify the problem. Take for instance the new Dove "Real Beauty" campaign. Dove has held empowerment workshops and put out advertisements with women of various body types and appearances. Taking it in good faith that Dove's attempts are sincerely meant and not just a marketing campaign, these efforts are still futile.
While I agree there is a problem, I think the analysis is off course. Let me take this back a few steps.
The problem: Women feel that they are ugly. Feeling ugly, these women therefore feel worthless. Feeling worthless, these women then allow themselves to be treated poorly/abused/etc.
All of that is true, but it is in the analysis it goes awry.
The conventional analysis and solution: In order to help women, we must convince them that they are beautiful so they will feel worthy and stand up for themselves.
Why that's wrong: These women aren't beautiful. Now, they may not be ugly, or they may in fact be extremely pug fugly, but in truth they're not beautiful. By definition they can't be. Beauty is rare. Like a diamond that is valuable because of its rarity, beauty is remarkable because of its low occurrence. How many women can look like Angelina Jolie (or insert your standard of beauty here)? Most women can never be a size 2, or have double D's, or flawless olive complexion, or so on and so forth. If we're generous, at most 10% of the population will truly be beautiful, 80% will be plain, and 10% will be 'Good God! What's that?' Ugli. It's basic statistics. There is a similar spread for intelligence. Therefore, no matter how many empowerment workshops or publicity campaigns one has, most women will never believe they are beautiful because they are not so stupid as to be deluded into believing a lie.
The truth is that many are ugly, or at least plain. That seems very harsh and mean of me to say, right? But why? It's because calling someone ugly is one of the worst things you can do. To be ugly is a cardinal sin, and therein lies the real problem.
Going back to our original problem breakdown, we see then that the solution is not to deceive ugly women into believing that they're somehow beautiful, but instead to make women realize that being ugly does not make them worthless.
Being ugly is okay. Being ugly is not a choice. You're born into your lump of clay, for better or worse. What we need to do, for all human beings, is realize that we should not judge each other by arbitrary standards that we have no control over and that are no indication of who we are as people. Rather than wasting my precious time, money and brain cells in trying to change something I had no control over, I should commit myself to improving those areas I do have control over, such as my personality, my empathy, my work ethic.
I have dedicated much of this blog to women and beauty because I feel men have a better understanding that they can still be great and successful even if they're ugly. There are numerous examples of successful men in Hollywood, business, and politics who are downright "I should be under a bridge demanding tolls from passing goats" Ugly. These men are successes. They have confidence. They pursue and achieve their goals.
The real empowerment of women will be in freeing ourselves from the shackles of the ridiculous pursuit of beauty. Our release from the degrading notion that our only value lies in being physically attractive. That being ugly is not a sin, and does not mean that we are unworthy of love, success, respect, and adventure.

Homo Voltairius

Ever since I learned years ago that I didn't have wisdom teeth and the dentist told me that's a sign of being more highly evolved, I've jokingly referred to myself as the human of the future. Little did I know how right I was.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20091024/hl_time/08599193175700

Swearing Is Caring

A recent study from the University of East Anglia in Norwich, U.K., found that swearing could actually be good for you. Said study involved having volunteers place their hands in cold water while repeating a single word. Split into two groups, half the volunteers were allowed to say the swear word of their choice, while the other half had to repeat a word that could be used to describe a table (i.e. sturdy, wooden, etc.)
Findings of the study showed that volunteers who swore were able to keep their hands in the ice water longer. Utilizing swear words proved to be a stress reliever and thus allow volunteers to endure greater pain. Californians are sure to not be surprised by these findings with our vast experience with patience-testing traffic. Knowing a colorful array of swear words helps keep us sane and, while potty-mouthed, non-violent in the midst of a two-hour commute.
Some people may use this study as an excuse to let their language run wild. However, it is important to note that swearing was only found to be beneficial while the volunteer was experiencing stress. It is also important to note that no research was done on the effects of second-hand swearing, i.e. the emotional effect on individuals hearing the swear words. Though future studies may teach us more about the psychological effects of swear words.
The message I'll take away from this study is that it's okay to indulge in a swear word in the right moment. In truth, sometimes there's nothing more relieving than your favorite four-letter word well-timed. Though I'm not normally the type to find cursing for the sake of cursing funny, check out The Onion's podcast on the next big gizmo for some cursing hilarity. Seriously funny stuff, plus it's given me my favorite new cursing combo "sucking fucking piece of shit."


:D Wondering why I'm looking so happy? How can I explain it? Oh, I know, look at the first letter of every sentence. Realize anything? Everyone should take joy in the little things in life.

Three Easy Steps To A Whole New CA

Let's face it, imaginary folks who read my blog, CA is in a pitiful place. We can't balance a budget. We have the highest foreclosure and the highest unemployment rates. Our education system blows. We're behind Iowa in progressive politics, and behind Brazil in green industry.
The truth is, the golden state is looking a little tarnished.
But fear not, for my genius brain has lit upon the solution. Here in this humble blog I will detail the three part plan to save my beloved CA.

Part 1: Let the state go green
Legalize pot. I know I'm not the first one to suggest this solution, but until someone takes us up on this offer, I hope I'm not the last either. During the Great Depression the goverment rescinded prohibition in an effort to bring in tax dollars. So, let's do the same for skunk weed. The truth that we all know, and that we've all known for years, is that mary jane isn't really bad for you. It's no worse than cigarettes or alcohol. Despite those ironic "Don't smoke marijuana" commercials that could have only been thought up by a pothead (talking dogs, giant joint coccoons) reefer doesn't really lead to car crashes, accidental homicides, and loserdom. Don't believe me? Just ask our last three Presidents.
Now please don't make the mistake in thinking I'm just suggesting this in self-interest. I'm about the squarest peg there is, heck I'd still be fine with prohibition, as long as they don't take Mama's diet soda. So legalizing ganja isn't going to do me any favors. Well, that's not entirely true. The money we'll make on taxing hash we'll do me and all Californians a world of good. Not to mention the money we'll save on those absurd commercials, and on prosecuting and imprisoning offenders. Another reality check here: our prisons are grossly overcrowded. So much so that they're letting violent offenders, like rapists and child molesters, out on bail more often simply because they don't have the room to keep them. Let's pull out our scale of justice shall we and weigh this choice, would you rather have a harmless stoner in jail or a sexual offender?
So, by simply legalizing bud we'll make a ton of money, save a bunch of money, and take a step towards fixing our broken prison system. Why you'd have to be high not to approve part 1.

Part 2: Let them eat cake.

Wedding cake that is. Let's legalize gay marriage. In my last post I've already expostulated on all the reasons why we should legalize gay marriage (it's fair, it's the law, it's the inevitable future) but here's one, it'll bring in a bunch of revenue! Instead of putting money towards lawsuits and propositions, if we all get together, we can save that money and get more from all the weddings, and not only from the wedding itself but from all the wedding gifts.
If you can't find it in your heart to legalize gay marriage because it's fair, because every person deserves the same civil rights, because we should live up to our national creed, because every person in this country is entitled to equal treatment, then at least find your inner capitalist and give gay people back their rights, for the money.
For a laugh on a subject that's not funny at all click this link:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c0cf508ff8/prop-8-the-musical-starring-jack-black-john-c-reilly-and-many-more-from-fod-team-jack-black-craig-robinson-john-c-reilly-and-rashida-jones
Plus, it emphasizes the point.

Part 3: Plastic Tax

This particularly brilliant idea struck me where so many of my inspirations do, while sitting on my wide rump watching tv. There was a commercial advertising vaginoplasty. Yes, it's what you think it is, and no, I have no idea who would think up such an idea. But I thought, in these economic times who is spending money on that?! Then I realized, some people are so stupid and so vain that even in the midst of a depression they'd spend thousand of dollars on sprucing up the ol' janer. My personal favorite cosmetic surgery is still Botox. I mean, you are literally paying some quack to inject botulism, a deadly virus, into your head for the express purpose of paralyzing nerves. How many people wanna bet that in about 5 to 10 years we'll see the first of the lawsuits with claimants exclaiming with dead faces, " How was I to know that injecting a deadly virus into my face could do any damage?!"
Now, I'm also of the libertarian slant, and I say if people want to destroy their face/body/cooch then that's their business, but why don't we tax it?! I mean, we tax all other luxuries (alcohol, cigarettes, fancy cars), but we wouldn't tax some ladies plastic fantastic bubbies (as my favorite Jersey housewives would say)? These are the kind of people who are rich, who are going to have the surgery regardless of the cost, so why not take the state's fair share. This is an especially brilliant plan for our state. We are the movie capital of the world, not to mention the porn capital, both of which mean we've got a lot of surgically "enhanced" folks.
Several states have attempted to levy this sort of tax, including New Jersey, Texas, Illinois, Arkansas, Washington, Tennessee, and New York, however none were passed. In 2008, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery there were over 10 million elective aesthetic plastic surgeries generating billions of dollars in revenue for plastic surgeons. Even a small tax on that could save the state from having to cut funding to schools, foster care, senior care, mental health, and other vital social services.

Now I know what you're saying already, "You liberals. *hawk, patooey* Always wantin' to spend money that ain't yours." Well, now that's a fair point, except for that 'liberal' and spitting part. I mean, really, are you from CA or Missoura? I think all politicians, Democrat or Republican, state or federal, need to learn that you don't spend what you don't have. It's a lesson I had to learn in my twenties that resulted in a pile of debt and my taking a scissors to my credit cards. We need to balance our budget, which means we don't over spend, and we don't rob Peter to pay Paul (translation for heathens: you don't mortgage the future to pay for the present). It's gonna hurt, but we need to do it. But right now, we are in such an economic crisis that we are reneging on our contracts and failing our citizens. So, much as I agree with the idea that you don't balance a budget by taxing more, right now, we kind of have to, and really the only tax that is being levied is on aesthetic plastic surgery. The other two parts are simply opening new markets.

So there you have it CA, salvation in three simple parts! I know, I know, I'm a genius, but please save the parade, we don't have the money, I'll settle for your votes in the next gubernatorial race.

The Day the Earth Stood Still...

...Well, perhaps that's overstating the impact my humble blog will have, but I do hope I can affect some change. Being an egomaniac I have often thought of writing a blog. I mean, if not me, than who? Undoubtedly people the world over are just dying to read the revolutionary ideas that come spewing out of my genius brain.
However, what's finally spurred me into creating this blog was the CA Supreme Court's decision to uphold Prop 8. For those who don't know, in November while making a tremendous stride towards equality by electing Barrack Obama, Californians took two steps back by simultaneously passing Prop 8, which "Eliminates the Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry." I think it's a sad day when CA is more backward than Iowa. I understand the Supreme Court was placed in a difficult position of either overturning the voter's decision or upholding a proposition that strips Californians of their rights. However, I agree with dissenting Associate Justice Carlos Moreno that the Supreme Court has made all of our civil rights more tenuous by placing them at the mercy of the majority of the moment.
I think the issue of LGBT equality is this generation's civil rights test. Every generation must face the beast of discrimination, and it is a testament to the intelligence of that generation as to how quickly they pick up the fact that all people deserve equality and justice under the law. From women's right to work outside the home, all the way back to slavery, every generation has been confronted with their own ignorance and penchant for discrimination. Sadly, not one generation has learned their lessons from history. I'm sure Americans before the Civil War could be heard to remark, "Well, of course it's wrong to discriminate against other white people based on landholdings, but it's fine to own a black person like a piece of property." Then the next generation remarked, "Well, of course owning someone is deplorable, but segregation? That's cool." All the way up to our own era, where most people recognize that slavery, segregation, and even prohibiting interracial marriage is wrong, but for some reason denying legal equality to same-sex couples, well that's just fine!
Some people say it's a matter of tradition, to which I say pick up a history book! There are a lot of sordid traditions in this country that we let go along time ago when we realized how deplorable they were. Secondly, marriage in concept and in fact has changed throughout the centuries. It's no longer seen as a business proposition, unless you'se a golddigger. It's also no longer seen as permanent or, let's face it, a promise of fidelity.
Now all these people who say they're protecting the sanctity of marriage I want to ask, where were you when the show "Who Wants to Marry A Millionaire?" aired? I didn't hear one protest about how this befouled a sacred religious institution, nor have I seen a single protester in Vegas crying out against the drive-thru chapels. But let one loving couple who both have the same naughty parts try to make a commitment and become a financially stable unit, and sound the alarms the end of the world is coming!
Well, proponents of Prop 8, take comfort while you can, because you may have won this battle, but you're going to lose the war, and know this, there may be more at stake then you imagine. There has never been a time when discrimination has won out. Never. I take heart from a quote from Gandhi, "When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it--always."
The biggest opponents of same-sex marriage in CA are the churches. When I say the stakes are higher than they may have anticipated, I mean for the churches. I'll give an example, my father, by no means a liberal man, was raised vaguely Christian. He in turn raised my brothers and myself in this same religious vein. I have never heard him utter a negative word against any church or religion, until this past election. At which point my father told me that he had voted against Prop 8 because he was "sick of the churches telling us how to run our lives!" I myself am spiritual, but do not believe in any established faith, yet I have always been tolerant, and have a number of devoutly religious friends. However, I find myself frustrated and disgusted that these churches take their hardworking congregation's money, and rather than follow the word of Jesus Christ and serve the poor, use it to support a political campaign that expressly eliminates a group of citizen's rights.
I would, finally, say to the churches, I'm not asking you to not believe that homosexuality is a sin. If that's your belief and your faith, you have every right to follow that, preach it, and practice it. I simply ask you to return the favor. If I don't ask/demand/legislate how you practice your faith, please don't ask/demand/legislate how I (or any other) may practice mine.

Lastly, and a little tangentially, you may be curious why this blog is entitled "Rejecting Silence." It's in honor of a quote by the fearless Ayaan Hirsi Ali who wrote in her autobiography, Infidel, "There are times when silence becomes an accomplice to injustice." I believe Ms. Ali is absolutely right, and we all need to speak out against the injustices and cruelties we are witness too.
Thank you for reading my blog, or if I channel Steven Colbert I should say, "You're Welcome."